Vinny the Elf

Santa's top elf, Vinny, reviews 1225 Mistletoe Lane.

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Christmas on Mistletoe Lane CD

Do you love Christmas music but are tired of all those rehashed standards that flood the market each year? Then here’s a Yuletide suggestion. . . put up the tree, take out the decorations, and have a listen to Christmas on Mistletoe Lane.
The imaginative storytelling of lyricist Lenny Castellaneta combined with the enchanting melodies of singer/songwriter Danny Schneider make this a holiday CD that’s destined to be a classic. Sing along with Danny and wife, Cindy, as they celebrate the season with ten original songs that’ll warm even the grinchliest of hearts!

Click here to listen to Christmas on Mistletoe Lane in its entirety.

Click here to buy Christmas on Mistletoe Lane (40% off for 2 copies!).

Lenny & Santa & Mrs. Claus

Lenny & Santa

11/16/10

Dear Santa,

Can ya get me a new publicist for Christmas? My current one isn't doing much to promote my book, 1225 Mistletoe Lane! And while you're at it, do ya know Tim Allen? People tell me my book would make a good Christmas movie, and Mr. Allen seems to make an awful lot of Christmas movies.

Thanks Santa,

Lenny

11/18/10

Dear Lenny,

I received your (above) letter the other day and decided to do some research into the matter. So I called your publisher, and was told that you don't have a publicist. From what they told me, YOU do all of the marketing and promotion for 1225 Mistletoe Lane. Because you weren't honest with me, I can not honor your request.

Santa

p.s. BTW, contrary to your note of 12/24/09, you DIDN'T bake those cookies. The Keebler Elves are personal friends of mine, and I know their work when I taste it!

11/20/10

Dear Santa,

I wasn't dishonest. I merely neglected to state that the publicist, with which I'm displeased, is me. And re: the cookies - let's review my note.

Dear Santa,

From me to you.

Baked with love,

Lenny

"From me to you" - The cookies were, in fact, a gift from me to you. "Baked with love" - As I understand it, the Keebler Elves bake ALL of their products with love. So ya see, Santa? I wasn't dishonest; ya merely misinterpreted my letter.

BTW, I heard you're havin' some labor disputes with the elves' union. I can help ya with that. I'm Italian and grew up in N.Y., so I know a guy who knows a guy...

Lenny

p.s. If ya reconsider the publicist thing, how 'bout hookin' me up with your guy? It's not even Thanksgiving, yet for the last 2 months, I see your face everywhere I go. Or how 'bout Charlie Sheen's guy? Charlie seems to be everywhere these days, too!

11/22/10

Dear Lenny,

You know a guy who knows a guy who can do WHAT?! You can't possibly be suggesting what I THINK you're suggesting! Didn't you learn ANYTHING in all those years of Catholic school and being an altar boy... besides how to steal wine from the vestibule closet when the priest wasn't looking?!

Santa

11/24/10

Dear Santa,

All I'm sayin' is that it's very remote up there at the North Pole. Very easy for some of the trouble-makin' elves to, let's say... go ice fishin' and fall into the hole. Accidentally, of course.

Lenny

p.s. Re: the altar wine - I didn't steal it. The priest gave it to me as a thank you. The church was havin' problems with the truckers' union that delivers the wine. And I was able to help 'cause I knew a guy who knew a guy...

11/26/10

Dear Lenny,

You knew a guy who knew a guy in 8th grade?! John Gotti didn't know a guy who knew a guy in 8th grade!! Where did you go to school, Our Lady Of The Sopranos?! And BTW, if you're so well-connected, why do you need ME to find you a publicist?

Got a news flash for you, pal. Santa doesn't need anyone's help dealing with unions. I think you're getting me mixed-up with Frosty the Snowman - that wimp who melts at the first sign of heat. Don't forget, I slide down chimneys for a living. You think I couldn't arrange to have a few whining elves disappear behind the bricks of some of those fireplaces if I wanted to? I may appear jolly, but just like Oprah, I'm ruthless when I have to be. How do you think we've both stayed on top for so long?

Stop bothering me 'cause if you don't, well... I, too, know a guy who knows a guy!

Santa

Lenny & Mrs. Claus

2/20/11

Dear Mrs. Claus,

I don’t know if ya remember me, but my name is Lenny Castellaneta and I’m the author of a Christmas book I believe ya read, 1225 Mistletoe Lane.

I was wonderin’ if ya could do me a favor. Last fall, I asked Santa if he could find me a new publicist to promote my book. We were emailin’ back and forth, and he seemed a bit annoyed with me... and turned down my request. So I was hopin’ ya could put in a good word for me. Ya know, maybe tell him how much ya dig the story and feel it would make a great movie?

Thanks, Mrs. C!

Lenny

2/22/11

Dear Lenny,

Of course I remember you! You’re the little ne’er-do-well who got Santa all riled up last Christmas! Let’s see if I remember correctly. You lied about some cookies, stole wine from the church when you were an altar boy, and offered to have some of our elves knocked off! How can I forget you?

Sorry, kiddo... loved the book, but I think you’re kind of despicable. Say, why don't you ask Whoopi for help? I hear she continues to defended Michael Vick on The View. Apparently Ms. Goldberg has a warm spot in her heart for thugs and hooligans.

Mrs. Claus

2/24/11

Dear Mrs. C,

Ya got me all wrong! I explained to Santa how he misunderstood my note re: the cookies. Ditto on how the wine was merely a “thank-you” from Father Guido for helpin’ with a labor dispute. And re: the elves - again, Santa misinterpreted my words. “Fall into the hole” is just an east coast expression for temporarily relocatin’. i.e. “After the jewelry heist video made the news, my cousins, Sal and Carmine, had to fall into the hole for several months.” See? Nothin’ sinister.

So what do ya say, Mrs. C? Throw me a bone?

Lenny

2/26/11

Dear Lenny,

I wouldn’t throw you a Snausage let alone a bone.

Mrs. Claus

2/28/11

Dear Mrs. C,

Not really sure what a Snausage is, but I’m sensin’ a bit of sarcasm, with a slight undertone of hostility, on your part. So... what part of New York did ya grow up in? (And let me guess... Catholic school?)

Since we’re obviously kindred spirits, could ya at least throw me an email address for Frosty or Rudolph? Maybe one of them wouldn’t mind puttin’ in a word to Santa for me.

Lenny

3/02/11

Dear Lenny,

RudolphHatesLennyToo@yahoo.com

FrostyWouldVacationInEquadorBeforeHelpingLenny@aol.com

Mrs. Claus